Blog Post Title - My Short Story
For this piece of writing I have focussing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: - delete the ones that are not at the standard you are aiming for
- use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
- use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal
My Story...
‘BUZZ! BUZZ!’ Screamed Uncle San’s alarm clock. ‘Yes!’ Screamed Uncle San, another great day for school. As you can tell Uncle San really fancys going to school, he has never missed a day of school, he is an average Asian teen, 16 ½ and he really really enjoys dancing. He started dancing ever since he could speak, but he has never actually performed live in front of a huge crowd, he only dances at the playground and records it for YouTube.
Anyway back to the story, Uncle San was on his way to school to go to the playground, so he could make his new weekly vid, but on the way there a man came up to him, he said his name was Uncle Chan. He told Uncle San that he has seen his outstanding vids and would like him to perform at his show on Sunday, Uncle San was so overjoyed he agreed to it.
So Uncle San went to the playground to announce his big debut, but when Uncle San started to ascend the tower he slipped and fell down, and then Uncle San swore aloud. At this moment Uncle San knew his legs were broken. Fortunately Uncle San had his phone on him, unfortunately it HAD NO CHARGE! So Uncle San started cry because 1. His legs were broken 2. He had no way of getting someone to help him and 3. His phone had died…
When Uncle San woke up he felt a bit woozy, the only thing he could remember was the fainting in the playground, so Uncle San looked around curiously to find where he was, HE WAS IN HIS HOME ON THE COUCH!? Uncle San was so confused, so he tried getting up but then he just fell on to the ground, ‘oh that's right’ thought Uncle San angrily ‘My legs are broken!’
So Uncle San had no choice but crawl to his laptop and search up how to dance with his arms. You might of forgotten but Uncle San agreed to perform at Uncle Chan’s show and he was still determined to perform.
When Sunday came Uncle San was so ready, he went to the show early. When he arrived Uncle Chan was there too, he was wearing a navy blue tux, some how Uncle San thought the tuxedo suited him. When Uncle Chan saw Uncle San he was in total shock because Uncle San was walking on his hands! ‘So how are going to dance in your condition?!’ Asked Uncle Chan curiously. ‘I'm going to dance on my hands’ Uncle San replied...
When it was time for Uncle San to dance, the audience was as shocked as Uncle Chan was! On the other side, Uncle San was so delighted his time had came. As soon as the lights dimmed and the music started, Uncle San started swirling around on the stage like a wind in Autumn. Eventually, Uncle San had finished dancing, the audience went wild! Uncle San had never felt this happy before.
Five months later Uncle San had become a WORLD SENSATION!! He was living the dream of all dreams, he even got his own show about his life, had his own merchandise and his own dance class.
Uncle San could never been happier.
Victor
