Writing Short story.

Blog Post Title - My Short Story

For this piece of writing I have focussing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: - delete the ones that are not at the standard you are aiming for

• use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
• use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal

My Story...

‘BUZZ! BUZZ!’ Screamed Uncle San’s alarm clock. ‘Yes!’ Screamed Uncle San, another great day for school. As you can tell Uncle San really fancys going to school, he has never missed a day of school, he is an average Asian teen, 16 ½ and he really really enjoys dancing. He started dancing ever since he could speak, but he has never actually performed live in front of a huge crowd, he only dances at the playground and records it for YouTube.

Anyway back to the story, Uncle San was on his way to school to go to  the playground, so he could make his new weekly vid, but on the way there a man came up to him, he said his name was Uncle Chan. He told Uncle San that he has seen his outstanding vids and would like him to perform at his show on Sunday, Uncle San was so overjoyed he agreed to it.

So Uncle San went to the playground to announce his big debut, but when Uncle San started to ascend the tower he slipped and fell down, and then Uncle San swore aloud. At this moment Uncle San knew his legs were broken. Fortunately Uncle San had his phone on him, unfortunately it HAD NO CHARGE! So Uncle San started cry because 1. His legs were broken 2. He had no way of getting someone to help him and 3. His phone had died…

When Uncle San woke up he felt a bit woozy, the only thing he could remember was the fainting in the playground, so Uncle San looked around curiously to find where he was, HE WAS IN HIS HOME ON THE COUCH!? Uncle San was so confused, so he tried getting up but then he just fell on to the ground, ‘oh that's right’ thought Uncle San angrily ‘My legs are broken!’

So Uncle San had no choice but crawl to his laptop and search up how to dance with his arms. You might of forgotten but Uncle San agreed to perform at Uncle Chan’s show and he was still determined to perform.

When Sunday came Uncle San was so ready, he went to the show early. When he arrived Uncle Chan was there too, he was wearing a navy blue tux, some how Uncle San thought the tuxedo suited him. When Uncle Chan saw Uncle San he was in total shock because Uncle San was walking on his hands! ‘So how are going to dance in your condition?!’ Asked Uncle Chan curiously. ‘I'm going to dance on my hands’ Uncle San replied...

When it was time for Uncle San to dance, the audience was as shocked as Uncle Chan was! On the other side, Uncle San was so delighted his time had came. As soon as the lights dimmed and the music started, Uncle San started swirling around on the stage like a wind in Autumn. Eventually, Uncle San had finished dancing, the audience went wild! Uncle San had never felt this happy before.

Five months later Uncle San had become a WORLD SENSATION!! He was living the dream of all dreams, he even got his own show about his life, had his own merchandise and his own dance class.

Uncle San could never been happier.

Victor

Writing Exposition.

WALT: Follow the writing process to write an exposition.

For writing we are writing about expositions, I am comparing Mother Teresa and J.k.Rowling. Here is my conclusion, where I compared them:

Overall Mother Teresa is a better leader because she looked out for others before herself, unlike J.k.Rowling who just entertains people with her writing.

My writing argument

31.3.16

For writing we have been learning to write an argument using the writing process. The topic was “Are Devices Taking Over Our Lives”.

Something I did really well in my writing was using connectives/conjunctions to make my argument more formal/interesting.

Here is a section of my writing that shows this.

To start off, people’s lives are getting shorter, because of the radiation emitting from the devices, it also has made the chances of getting cancer higher! In addition to that people are also sitting around too long and become fat and lazy, also some people are too lazy to even get up and walk around. Furthermore people are out and about with their heads down all the time and they aren't aware of their surroundings, for example, I read in an article that a man casually strolled into a train with a gun in his hand, no one saw this because they were all looking at their devices, they only noticed until the man shot someone. But, that besides the point, the point is that devices are affecting our lives, not only are they doing so, they can also ruin our schedule.
(The words in green are the connectives/conjunctions)

Writing, Speech Wk5/6 Term 3

WALT: create a persuasive speech and present it.

This is the draft of my argument, I chose to argue that houses are overpriced. I chose this because I can related to this so I chose this. After we wrote our draft we had to publish it on Google Docs, and then we had to print it out, then make cue cards so we can get ready to present it in front of the class. I managed to finish mine, and I think that I did really good.

My next step is to practice more so I won't be nervous when I present, also maybe include more strong key information.

New writing goal

WALT: Use advanced punctuation in my writing.

This is my punctuation goal I need to work on. There were 3 punctuation goals to chose from, I chose this one because it is something I need to work on.