Thursday, 31 March 2016

My writing argument


For writing we have been learning to write an argument using the writing process. The topic was “Are Devices Taking Over Our Lives”.

Something I did really well in my writing was using connectives/conjunctions to make my argument more formal/interesting.

Here is a section of my writing that shows this.

To start off, people’s lives are getting shorter, because of the radiation emitting from the devices, it also has made the chances of getting cancer higher! In addition to that people are also sitting around too long and become fat and lazy, also some people are too lazy to even get up and walk around. Furthermore people are out and about with their heads down all the time and they aren't aware of their surroundings, for example, I read in an article that a man casually strolled into a train with a gun in his hand, no one saw this because they were all looking at their devices, they only noticed until the man shot someone. But, that besides the point, the point is that devices are affecting our lives, not only are they doing so, they can also ruin our schedule.
(The words in green are the connectives/conjunctions)

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